This is a real forecast and I’m real sad.
THIS WEATHER WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY RIGHT NOW THANK YOU. IT GOES FROM 40 TO 21 THIS WEEK
We’re literally losing 40 degrees in a day.
"omg i hate small talk its so fake!!" like damn u must be so fucking annoying. its called being nice. if i was at a party and i was like "how r your classes going" and you were like "ugh lets skip that i KNOW u dont really CARE about my classes and i dont care about YOURS" i would log out of there so fucking fast
what do you call a woman with an opinion
What do you call a guy that makes sexist jokes
I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re a angry serial killer
Raise your hand if you have watched so much British television that is has actually changed your speech patterns.
I’ve not the slightest idea how you’ve come round to that idea.
Exactly. I haven’t the foggiest idea of how you’ve come to that conclusion.
What in the bloody hell are you blabbering on bout you twat?
Behold, people that have never been within 50 feet of anyone even remotely British.
in Australia they call blow jobs “gobbies”
aint that that nigga that died in harry potter?
THERE ARE THESE GUYS WALKING AROUND MY NEIGHBORHOOD SELLING SHIT AND THE ONE GUY LOOKED LIKE JARED PADALECKI AND I GOT EXCITED AND OPENED THE DOOR AND I WAS LIKE
“DAMMIT. YOURE NOT SAMMY.”
AND ALL HE SAID WAS
“If I had a nickel for every god damned time I heard that I could probably buy Jared padalecki.” And he walked away.
Sometimes in daily life I like to pretend I’m a time traveler from late medieval Europe and I’m just fucking amazed at my luxurious life
Let me tell you, 14th c me is REALLY impressed with modern me’s easy access to pepper and cinnamon
"you have multiple purple garments? you must be a person of some note"
"these chairs are fantastically luxurious"
"I’ve never seen so much salt in one place"
I am going to start playing this game.
central indiana, bro